How not to get rid of bees.
The complaints.
The first complaint.
The first complaint I received from the tenants was the leaking roof.
I investigated and agreed with them. The roof needed urgent attention. I requested quotes from the professionals and realized they wanted enough money to buy a new house, doing what I already did unsuccessfully.
I had to do something more creative to obtain success. To my horror, I sealed the roof permanently.
The second complaint.
Six months later, I received a new complaint.
The bees are bothering us!
Eventually, I had to find out how serious the problem was.
It was serious.
The tenants tried to get rid of the bees, but the bees remained. The tenants got a quote from various beekeepers. Not the tenants or I had the means to acquire professional help.
I decided to do the task.
How I prepared for the task.
I thought I knew the roof. Did I not repair it a while ago?
I would lift the roof plates and take the hive out, thus saving the bees. I did not think that would be too difficult. The problem was to see which plate I should lift.
I realized I could not do the task unprotected. I had to get a bee suit. I purchased one as well as gloves.
I decided to take a container to put the hive and another in case I had to scrape honey from the dirty ceiling. After collecting the tools to open the roof, I was ready for action.
I contacted my assistant, and we went to work.
The task.
After arriving at the house, I asked my assistant to undo the roof plates, which he did. I told him to make sure the roof plates were loose, but he should not lift them. The bees should stay inside as the assistant did not have protective clothing.
When he finished, I checked to see if I was satisfied. I was not. The assistant had to undo another roof plate.
I helped him do so, but the friendly bees were not friends anymore. They started to show their other personality. They became vicious.
I ordered the assistant to get out of the way and got into the bee suit. Before getting into the bee suit, I decided to take my cellphone and car keys from my trouser pocket. It turned out to be the best thing I did for the day. I put the articles on a garden table.
I got back onto the roof and proceeded to undo the plate.
It was then I realized how well I sealed the roof. I could not lift the plate.
After struggling for a while, the sweat burned my eyes too much. Because of the visor, I could not wipe my eyes. I had to stop. I got down from the roof and into the shade.
The bees loved me to bits. They refused to leave me. I could not open the suit to get to my eyes and decided to go back — a big mistake.
The disaster.
When I purchased the suit, I realized I would have a problem protecting my ankles. I decided to wrap towels around them. It worked, and I was happy about it.
Unfortunately, when I got back onto the roof, I bumped my ankle, and the one towel became undone.
The bees were vicious. From the other side of the visor, they stared into my eyes. I received their message: “we will get you.” I send the message back: “Nope, I will get you.”
Was it my imagination, or did I suddenly noticed a bee saying: “I will show you?” Then he went for my Achilles heel.
I felt the sting on my ankle and knew I was in trouble. The third sting convinced me to run for my life.
I got down from the roof and walked a distance away. The bees loved me more than ever before. I noticed the swarm around my ankle and realized I could not stay there.
Before I could do anything, I suddenly heard an indescribable cry. I could not make out if it were the neighbor’s baby or a wolf in some remote forest. It was terrible and did not stop.
I had my urgent problem to solve and decided I would worry about that problem later. I went to a tap, hoping I could use the hosepipe to flush the bees away. I could not get the hosepipe to open and disconnected it from the tap.
With the tap wide open, I kept my ankle under the water. While I solved the problem with the hosepipe, the bees did not give me any slack. I hold the nozzle upright, waving it in a circle around me. I was soaking wet, and the bees became fewer. Unfortunately, the moment I stopped waving, they returned in full force.
I could not think of a solution and decided the bees must do their worst. I closed the tap and went to the back of the house to find my car keys. I attracted more bees as I passed the hive.
At the car, I opened all the windows, got into the car, and drove off. I passed my assistant half a kilometer away and showed him to wait for me. He did not. He went in another direction.
After passing my assistant, I realized the bees disappeared. I thought they got stuck with the assistant.
I went looking for him.
The aftermath.
I found my assistant, and we went back to the house. I left him at a safe distance with the order to wait there. I did not want to search for him again.
At the house, I replaced the roof plates as best I could. I had to return the next day to repair the roof properly before the rain came.
The bees decided they could not find me and left.
When I discussed the matter with the tenants, they explained the awful sound I heard. While I was under attack on the roof, the dog went into the house to escape from the bees. The bees followed him, and he could not get away from them.
The bull terrier crashed straight through the trellidor, which may be burglar-proof but not dog-proof.
My situation.
When I left the house, I went immediately to the chemist. I did not have to explain much. The chemist quickly gave me two small bottles and told me to drink half of each. He gave me a bottle of water (for which I had to pay) and told me to swallow some tablets.
The rest of the day, I had a body filled with red itchy bumps. I felt like dying. Fortunately, the next day I was back to normal, except for my foot which remained swollen for two weeks.
A final word.
I did not get the bees. They almost got me.
I love bees. Bees are special. Take care of them. They produce one of the best products on earth.
When you encounter bees, please do not do the stupid things I did. Before you act, first discuss with the professionals. Protect yourself properly. Protect the bees.
